'I'm so punk it hurts, well at least it will when I get fisted by a hundred 

angry punks wearing spiked bracelets. And not the fake hot topic shit

I buy, the real deal!!! I'm also so punk that I rap in one of my songs

because as we all know, all punks are rappers too!!!'

T.F.W.T.M.M.P.Y.I.T.F

(Top Five Ways To Make Me Punch You In The Face)

1: Let clothing dictate your attitude, sub-culture, political/social views and status in the community. For example, wearing a tie over casual clothes does not make you punk. By doing this you are offending the true members of this 'subculture' and hopefully one day you will be anally-violated by an angry old punk, hopefully, this will rid you of your desire to listen to Avril Levigne (the pop queen who motivated this category).

2: Act as though you belong in a different economy class. This goes out to all my homeboys living on the street (all the while your parents are out looking for you in their matching BMW's dicks). Don't give me your, 'I'm so goddamned oppressed' bullshit, you know you have a fucking trust fund set up for so so shut up, or I will mug the fuck out of and give you a reason to bitch.

3: Be (this applies to most, not all) under the age of 21. That's it, I'm sorry. You have no idea what's going on, though you might pretend to. I hope your cocky self-assurance provokes you to move out, develop a drug habit and end up sucking cocks in alleys to support it. This might sound harsh, but until you learn that you know shit all about how the world works I don't care. I'm not saying I know all the answers either, but I've learned not to pretend to.

4: Be (same stipulation as above) over the age of 55. You want to keep Noosa a place for the aged? Fuck you, you stupid fucktard. Don't you remember? Noosa was a surf station for years, if anything YOU get the fuck out. It was people like you that completely raped this place to begin with, so let the people 21 - 35 take over and try to restore some dignity to this hollow shell of a town. Also, next time I see one of your 'keep noosa for the aged' letters in the newspaper, I'm going to track you down and shove it in your urethra.

5: Disagree with numbers 1 and 2. No matter what you do or say if you find number one offensive, you are a scatterbrained whore, who has no idea about what it is to be a punk, I'm not one myself but I know several who will gladly put on all kinds of spiky rings and fist you. Likewise, #2's? If you want to be a gang-star so bad, then you have to spend some time in the pen... and your fresh white rich-boy asses will be broken in faster than a horse trained by Bart Cummings, in the meantime, i hope you rot in hell you piece of jailbird shitcum.

THE END

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